I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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