i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
