weddingsv make me drug and hornr
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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