is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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