YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
