dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
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