Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
