Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
