Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
