I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Randomize
