am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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