Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
