Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
