just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
