in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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