i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Are we still banned from the library?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
i now understand why vodka
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
