I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize