He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
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Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
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That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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