no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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