Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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