Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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