I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize