this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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