holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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