Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
