My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
