i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize