You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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