vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
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