I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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