well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
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I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
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I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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