if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
