either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
