Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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