i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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