just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
