I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
