Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
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