i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
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