I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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