I love black thongs
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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