I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
PANTIES FOUND
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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