how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
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so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
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The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
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