i don't like sucking hair
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
