I met the friendliest cop last night
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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