apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize