3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Green mimosas i think yes
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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