CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
