my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I think people are normalizing furries
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
