Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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