Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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