Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
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