no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Randomize
