and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
