HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
