Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
