question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
